Things That Need Vegetables

Have you ever noticed how the one way of making things healthier, is putting vegetables in it? Like cream cheese. Just a big block of whipped cheese. Probably not that healthy, so how do you make such a delicious treat into something more healthy? Why not put some vegetables in it? ....Vegetable cream cheese. Increasing the price just to make people eat more vegetables. But why do we need to put vegetables in cream cheese? You could just buy the cream cheese then buy the vegetables. Fresh vegetables in your delicious, not tampered with cream cheese. When you buy the vegetable cream cheese you have the mystery vegetables...you don't know where they have been...they don't even have to be vegetables...you don't know. So buy your own vegetables and put them in the cream cheese...you don't even have to put vegetables in the cream cheese, just eat the cream cheese, put it on a bagel, put some vegetables on it if you want. That's the beauty of regular cream cheese you can do whatever you want with it. Say you're not in the mood for vegetables, but all you have is vegetable cream cheese...then you have a problem. Keep the vegetable cream cheese for the lazy people who want mushy, mystery vegetables in their cream cheese and make the right decision.

There's no eating in the library

I go to high school and you know, I like to study so I go to the library. But being the privilege of only one off period so I need to fit my lunch and study time in one period. But, why not just do both in the same period? No. The library does not allow to eat in there. What's the big idea? If I want to study and eat at the same time I should be able to do so. The cafeteria is a place to eat, but not to study. Too much noise and yelling and pushing. The library is a quiet sanctum to do both eat and study. Bring freedom to the cafeteria. The liberty to do what we want. The library doesn't get that much business as is so they need all the help they can get.

People and Hats

People who wear hats inside, have a problem. They have a misconception of roofs and are unaware of their purpose. A hat is meant to protect one from the weather...so is a roof. When you go inside, you're not suppose to wear a hat. It's rude. But they don't care. The people who wear hats don't have respect for anyone, they're more concerned about their heads matching their shoes and underwear. But why so many hats? So many teams that they don't even know the rosters to. We live in New York, and its a great city, we have great teams. Why would you have to root for a team on the other side if the country. "I just like the team." Well you can catch the next plane to California you estranged weirdo.

Half-off apps

Have you ever noticed what geniuses Applebee's have? The half off apps after 10 p.m. An entire meal can be built upon appetizers, for half the price. Pure genius in the corporate world of eatery. But, to every great idea, there's a downside. Einstein's relative theory is still just a theory. The half off apps happens after ten. No plans exist at Applebee's until after ten. The half off apps. The mother load of savory rewards for dance competitions. For too long have teams and clubs spent too much on tiny baskets of wings after their victory or defeat and are in need of celebration. Applebee's struck culinary genius wih a thunderbolt of bargains. Making an entire meal for half the price. But a problem arises. What if the game or competition is in the afternoon. You can't wait until ten to get the deals. Seven hours is too long. "Well, what about pizza?"
"...What's wrong with you?"

Band Candy

Have you ever noticed that the one form of school fundraising that has existed since the dawn of time is band candy? Band candy. That group of kids that no one really talks to, holding the one thing that you want during the school day: candy. You don't want to talk to them; even though that question will satisfy every ounce of hunger in your body, just for one dollar. Oh the humanity. Band Candy. Every club utilizes the concept of band candy even though they're not part of the band; nothing to do with the band.
"Excuse me, sir, would you like to buy some candy?"
"What for? Are you part of the band?"
"...no..."
"Get out of here."
I'm not supporting anything by buying candy that isn't for the band. It's band candy. We did it first. Stop taking our ideas. Sell your own things.